BURNING YOUR RELATIONSHIP DOWN (part 3)
Consciously activating a prescribed fire in relationship means a commitment to lean into vulnerability, to staying curious and generous, to sticking with the messy middle of problem identification and solving, to taking a break and circling back when necessary, to...
BURNING YOUR RELATIONSHIP DOWN (part 2)
As you become comfortable in your relationship with a partner, those edges between you that initially were full of excitement, energy and potentiality, begin to cool. The qualities that thrilled and enticed you before, can become mild annoyances and irritations....
BURNING YOUR RELATIONSHIP DOWN (part 1)
“How was your day?” Recently I was asked about this question and whether there were other ways of engaging with a partner after a time apart. It’s a question we don’t often examine. Although the original intention was to create connection, you may have...
THE PROBLEM WITH RECEIVING (part 3)
Are you aware of your “havingness level,” how much you are willing to receive before the sensation of all that goodness feels like too much? Without an awareness to some of the factors that limit how much goodness you can take in and stay conscious for, you will...
THE PROBLEM WITH RECEIVING (part 2)
Over 20 years ago, after a very messy, painful, and contentious #divorce I found myself in a new relationship. I was the fittest, happiest, and most fulfilled I had been in my life up to that point. I felt for sure, this new relationship would be a...
THE PROBLEM WITH RECEIVING (part 1)
Years ago, I had a client who came to me looking for a relationship. In our sessions, she confided that men hit on her quite often, but rarely wanted more than sex. One afternoon she went clothes shopping with some girlfriends. One of her...
POLE DANCING
It is customary for clients who seek out my relationship coaching support to have either thin boundaries with others (difficulty saying no) or overcompensate with thick boundaries (avoiding intimacy and close relationships). The dominant culture trains us to see...
LEADING THROUGH LOSS
Over the last year, I’ve experienced several family losses. Interestingly, many in my circles are having similar experiences and yet relationship grief is not dinner conversation. It is not a topic we are culturally taught to connect over, at the water fountain, over...
IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE
When my son was a teenager, we visited the Groeninge Museum in Bruges. There he was introduced to the art Hieronymus Bosch. Intrigued by the images of hell and damnation, he asked me to buy him a postcard of the Last Judgement. In three gory panels, it depicts God...
PRIORITIZING MATTERS OF THE HEART
I’m off to the UK today for my aunt’s funeral. This is on the heels of unexpectedly losing my Father, her only sibling, in August and placing both my parents in a nursing home last April. My mother is no longer compos mentis so that, too, feels a...