There once was a snail making its way up a cherry tree in the middle of winter. From a branch above, a bird saw it slowly moving up the grey cold bark and said, “You know, there are no cherries up on those branches.”
Without missing a beat, the snail responded, “There will be by the time I get up there.”
Conditioned by our culture, systems, communities, and families, we are taught to work hard, strive for what we want, push ourselves, more is better. Led to think that busyness, striving and doing are the key to everything we desire, have seduced us into believing we need to take BIG, BOLD actions every single moment of every single day to get the results we seek. Including our relationships.
On the flip side, there are those out there who believe that all that is necessary to attract what we desire is that we ask and then remain in the expectation of its manifestation. Like Santa on Christmas day, our goods get delivered if you believe enough.
If you DO enough. If you BELIEVE enough.
Enough.
I tend to fall somewhere in between and teach my relationship coaching clients the skills of:
- Knowing what you truly desire and not what you think you ought to want, have been taught you should have, see others having so you ought to also
- Trusting it is plenty.
- Invoking it as a beginning point.
- Setting it as your North Star.
- Making a choice and taking aligned action.
- Remaining open and flexible the outcome
Mistakes bring about learning, growth, more clarity – new opportunities to refine what it is that you want, to check in, to course correct, to stay true.
I am reminded of the relationship my client, Alex (not his real name) co-created with his girlfriend. He had such clarity about what he wanted and found a partner who valued the same. Their relationship flies in the face of socialized expectations.
They are blissfully happy.
The snail, who knows the cherries exist (despite any outward evidence to the contrary) and who is certain her timing is both perfect and elegant, has complete conviction in the unseen.
How will you trust today to take a small step toward what you want?
Let’s talk. Schedule your complimentary Discovery Session click here now. Looking forward to supporting you in your next expression steps