Years ago, I had a client who came to me looking for a relationship. In our sessions, she confided that men hit on her quite often, but rarely wanted more than sex.
One afternoon she went clothes shopping with some girlfriends. One of her friends picked out an outfit that she absolutely balked at. It was in her colors and size, but the style was softer, more feminine than she was used to. When she reluctantly put it on, everyone cooed, and one of her friends even said, “if you wear that, someone is going to ask you to marry.”
She could not get the dress off fast enough stating “I’d feel way too vulnerable in this.”
Receptivity IS vulnerable.
A person’s inability to receive is a cancer in relationship because it does not provide the ability for an energy exchange to happen between two people.
Our culture puts a lot of emphasis on output, productivity, busyness, and denigrates, minimizes and poo poos receptivity, input, stillness. It tends to attribute great value to what is active, dynamic, direct, productive, sportive, logical, tangible. It encourages us to reach for the light. Say YES.
My relationship-seeking client struggled with the hidden barrier Gay Henricks refers to in “The Great Leap” of feeling fundamentally flawed, broken or unlovable in her vulnerable and true nature. She had no intention of feeling too “exposed” and seemingly “defenseless” when it came to a partner.
As such, she was not available to receive what she honestly wanted.
In truth, if a person can’t access their softness and vulnerability, they’ll settle for sex instead. And you’ll probably think that’s all they wanted.
Deep down my coaching is about helping you do the real work of fully embracing your honest desire, and to support you in expanding your capacity to receive it with an open, vulnerable heart.
How are you holding yourself from receiving what you genuinely want in your relationship?
Let’s talk. Click the link below for your complimentary Discovery Call with me. Let’s see if the relationship work I do is a match for what you’re looking for. Click here now.