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PRIORITIZING MATTERS OF THE HEART

I’m off to the UK today for my aunt’s funeral.  This is on the heels of unexpectedly losing my Father, her only sibling, in August and placing both my parents in a nursing home last April.  My mother is no longer compos mentis so that, too, feels a significant passing.

I don’t know if it’s time of life or cycle of humanhood, but loss has become a predominant theme in conversation with friends. 

According to the World Health Organization, the full death toll associated directly or indirectly with COVID was in excess of 14.9 million. 

I cannot believe we aren’t all collectively and personally feeling the waves.  As a relationship coach I’ve seen the impact on clients (and my own) relationships.  When internal energy reserves are depleted, the normal capacity to maintain self-control is weakened, leading to increased stress, inappropriate behaviours response, compromised immune system, and cognitive haze.  People have a higher level of overwhelm, disconnection, depression, discord, and distrust.

How could our relationships not be affected by this collective grief?  It has been emotionally exhausting.  How to navigate these waters?

According to the Institute of Heartmath, emotions and our heart bring meaning to every aspect and moment in our lives.  They drive us to make meaningful connections, empower us by giving us strength in moments of adversity, courage for difficult successes, enveloping love that protests and supports loved ones, and empathy towards others by understanding our own vulnerabilities.

An essential skill to navigate these times is to increase your capacity to self-regulate emotions, attitudes, and behaviors to develop resilience.

To build relational resilience:

1.     Drop the Tech: don’t pick up your phone/hop on the computer for the first hour of the day.  Allow yourself to slowly enter and connect with one another without distraction.
2.     Into the Quiet: have morning practices in place that allow you to tune in, reflect and discern what’s most important for you before engaging with others in the day.
3.     Gratitude: my husband and I have been sharing 5 gratitudes for the day with one another.  It’s been a lovely way to both share while steeping ourselves in the powerful energy of thanksgiving. 
4.     Wash, rinse, repeat daily.

Personally, I would not have been able to navigate the intensity of these times nor maintain a loving connection to others without practices in place.

What will you do today to prioritize matters of the heart so they are the heart of the matter?

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