✨What’s the secret to long lasting relationships?

My husband and I attended the wedding of my college roommates’ son this weekend. As Lucas (whose nappies I changed as a baby) and his bride “tied the knot,” it got me to thinking.

What’s with the symbolism of ropes and threads in the sacrament of marriage?

As it turns out, “tying the knot” relates to an ancient Celtic practice of handfasting which dates back to the medieval era. It is a ceremony that literally binds couples in matrimony by tying knots of cloth around their hands so two becomes one. 

There’s also the fisherman’s knot ceremony used in the turn of the nineteenth century when sailors would send two overhand knots, linked together like true lovers are in their hearts for their intended back home. Some say the Fisherman’s or True Lover’s Knot symbolically represents where the couple is tied at the knot itself. And as pressure is applied, the knot strengthens – just like their marriage. The rope will likely break before the knot ever comes undone. 

Last week, I was interviewed on a podcast.. The inteviewer shared a piece of advice given to him by his priest prior to his own wedding in India: Marriage is a thread between two people, connecting both hearts and lives. It’s important to keep the right amount of tension on the thread at all times but not so much that the thread breaks. Because the only way to then re-bond is to tie the two threads with a knot. This knot is forever a reminder of a broken vow.

Knots that bind and knots that break. 

Such conflicting traditions. So what IS the secret to long lasting relationships?  

Shiloh Sophia, from the Center of Intentional Creativity presented the 4 Legends of the Red Thread to the United Nations Commission on the Status of Women in 2017. I’ve tweaked the tenets as applied to relationships. They could be read as follows:

1. You are already connected to those in your life story
2. Your unique piece of the red thread is what you are here to cause, create and celebrate
3. You can envision and have love for the totality of your relationship, and yet, you are only responsible for weaving your own piece into its great fabric.
3. You have a sacred responsibility to know what your piece of the red thread is and to live it.

All of these symbols and rituals and tenets could would apply to all sorts of relationships, including marriage.  

What are your thoughts on this matter? What makes a relationship, whether professional or personal, last long term?

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