Love is addicting.
You know, the butterflies, the sense of floating on air, everything looking just a little brighter…
This is the part of Love that gets us hooked into the chasing after, all caution to the wind, the “happily ever after.”
(Cue romantic music and a couple walking into the sunset.)
From crazy in love to lazy in love
When the newness and the magic fade, you become lazy in your relationship habits. Instead of dressing up for your beloved, you wear sweats to dinner. Lazy in your interactions, you blame your partner when upset, not giving them the benefit of the doubt. You become reactive to the negative, overlook the positive and expect unconditional love, no matter what you dish out.
After a few months you wonder how it is that you ended up with the same kind of person…
After my heart was broken for the last time I just knew the kind of long-term relationship I was looking for would be impossible unless I prepared for it.
Hence began my relationship research journey.
For 9 months I dated as many men as would agree to my terms. I was…
- not looking for a commitment.
- doing research on men because I thought poorly of them.
- looking to believe in another possibility.
Many, thinking me nuts, ran for the hills. The ones who agreed to take me out enjoyed the fullness of my company.
It was a win-win.
Over that 9 month period, I practiced radical honesty, vulnerability, asking for everything I wanted and, most importantly, learned to receive with an open heart.
What did I find? Whether the gentleman was attractive to me or no, I discovered each had something, a quality, a perspective, core values I was looking for in a partner.
This, blew me away.
EVERY MAN has some of the qualities a woman seeks if she willing to look close enough.
It gave me hope that I would stand a chance of finding my Legendary Love.
One of those men bubbled up to the surface as a more interesting candidate. Once this became apparent, I hung up my lab coat, and committed fully to the adventure of a lifetime.
I had set out to take a step-by-step strategic approach which transformed both my internal “operating system” and supported me in doing Love differently. An approach that engendered a deeply committed marriage to my husband. One I teach my clients – who have, themselves, found deeply satisfying relationships.
What’s key is to note is that satisfying long-term relationships have three stages.
Three: Ongoing growth
In our current swipe to the left, cancel culture you’ll read lots about long-term relationships without providing a step by step way to get there. It leaves so many craving intimacy yet lacking the maturity, skill and stick-to-itness long term love and relationship requires.
Cancel culture prevails at the slightest sign of discomfort.
Over the next few weeks I’ll be sharing how you can move through those three stages with more confidence and skill so come back.
But, if you don’t want to wait that long and want to chat, great. Click here to schedule your complimentary 1-1 Discovery call with me. Let’s see if the relationship work I do is a match for you.
In the meantime a reminder to choose love, always.
See you next week,