My mother arranged my first photo session at age 14. Being a typical angsty teenager, she thought the attention would do me good.
The experience stayed with me: not because I still have a copy of the black and white pictures, but because of how it felt to have someone’s full attention.
How it felt to not hide.
In retrospect, it’s clear that as an adult I approached relationships with a desire to live in that feeling All. The. Time.
It became a long-ass hustle for worthiness and a repeated pattern of poor relationship choices.
For example, the choice to say yes to my first husband, though he was not a good match, because I had convinced myself no one else would ask me to marry.
Or the choice to stay with a boyfriend for 8 years, blend our families, buy a home and dog, knowing I was settling for one who didn’t want the next level of commitment.
You probably have similar stories.
I chased the feeling of wanting someone’s full attention without me hiding for the greater part of forty years.
Drove me into a deep, dark hole. Forced me get my priorities straight:
Pour all the attention I was seeking “out there” into myself.
Over the decade that followed, I fiercely pursued becoming significant to me.
Call me selfish.
Tell me I wasted my time navel gazing.
I say it was the best stand I EVER took for myself.
In these extraordinary times, you need to stop following the pre-pandemic socialized norms and expectation that “the one” will seamlessly appear without you putting any skin in the game.
This time, you’re invited to stand 100% true while doing your Readiness due diligence….
"She was utterly unselfish. She excelled in the difficult arts of family life. She sacrificed daily.… Above all, she was pure. She bothered me and wasted my time and so tormented me that at last I killed her." ~ Virginia Wolfe
This time, you’re asked to “kill” your old stories and ways, as Virginia encouraged…
…do the “real work” in order to experience:
- Genuine connection
Build your Trust Skill Set.
Yep. You heard me right: skill set.
We are not all privileged to be born with an innate sense of Trust.
It is something you learn. And believe me, I sought help to do so.
You’ll know with certainty you’ve found it by the way it lights you up.
It’s the first stage of relationship work: Readiness.
Nothing will change until you do.
This past week-end I had a photo shoot scheduled. On my way, I connected with my dear friend Liz (a kick ass Boston photographer who took my pics in Paris 6 years ago.)
Sharing I was nervous about the process, she responded, “you are so much more embodied. It doesn’t matter who the photographer is. That’s what’s going to come through.”
It doesn’t matter.
The embodiment will come through. (I guess you really can’t fool the camera.)
I can’t wait for you to see these new images. I brag they reflect me as a woman well loved.
Readiness was the first step.
Everything I’ve learned about relationships is everything you’ll find in my coaching programs – for those of you feeling like you’ve got your shit together in all areas but that one.
I’ve got a way to help build that trust skill set so you can have navigational certainty.
Ready to take a stand? Let’s talk. Click here now to apply for your complimentary 60 minute Discovery Call to see if the work I do is a match.
See you on the other side 🙂
Choose love, always,