My Beloved husband and I got in an argument in the car this weekend. About what, you may ask?
What music to play on our ride. Yep. You heard right…
His request was to play uplifting music. As passenger, it was my responsibility to oversee coming up with a song I thought would fit, then allowing Pandora to take it over from there.
Usually, the first one hit the spot. Beyond that, the algorithm had its own view on “uplifting.”
It had us in a tug of war: he feeling I wasn’t honoring his desire and I as if nothing I could chose was right.
The perfect crucible for heat.
In every relationship, whether personal or professional, conflicts are bound to arise. The level of consciousness (of self, other, relationship) one can maintain in the midst of it determines the impact: will it be a controlled burn? Will it become a raging wildfire taking down everything on its path?
In every argument, although it might seem counterintuitive, there is a place of common value. Finding it becomes the game of resolution.
When I paused in the middle of our heat to get a bird’s eye view, I was able to see my husband and I vying for the same desire dressed as oppositional and seemingly adversarial stances: a pleasurable and music filled ride.
That was the connection in the center of our conflict Ven Diagram.
Calling this out was the move.
Doing so, shifted the moment from conflict to connection. Each of us laughing at how seriously and adorably we had fought for our unique positions.
As a Heart Coach, I support my clients harness the power of deep connection inherent in conflict as a healing and revolutionary act of making Love the decision each step of the way.
How will you choose to play the game of finding common values in your relationships today?
Let’s talk. Click here now to apply for your complimentary Discovery Call with me. Let’s see if the relationship work I do is a match for what you’re looking for.