How judgmental are you?
Aloof, moody, mysterious, bad ass.
Cats used to be my pet of preference.
When my ex suggested we adopt a dog, I resistantly agreed.
And when he and his daughter would laugh hysterically at Harvest’s silly antics, I would find myself judging: “Wow. This dog… So unsophisticated, so simple. I don’t get it. Why are they laughing? What’s so funny? They are so simpleminded to be amused by all of this.”
According to the Positive Intelligence work of Dr. Shirzad Chamine, judgment comes in three flavors. Judgment of:
At that time, I didn’t think myself the kind of person who judged or criticized others. I judged those who did. In complete denial, I didn’t recognize my own inner judges.
As Harvest grew, I began to join my ex and daughter in their laughter. But then judge myself for being as a simple as they were.
Were they rubbing off on me?
This lead me judge the circumstances of my life and relationship throwing me into the insatiable lie of “I’ll be happy when…”
Clueless, I didn’t realize how all 3 forms of judgment were alive and running me.
As my relationship with Harvest deepened, my view of her shifted.
Rather than judging her as simple and unsophisticated, I saw a sense of presence. Now this, then this, and then again this is holding her attention. All fueled by unbound joy and freedom.
By the time she was 5 I was in LOVE with her. I learned to fully appreciate her attentiveness, connectedness, empathy, lovingkindness and unguardedness.
Highlighting my own judgment armor, she modeled a way to embody the qualities necessary to be in relationship with another. Hers was a lesson in vulnerability and trust.
Over our 12 year relationship, she taught me to release my own overprotection in order to fully love and be loved without pretense.
Everything I learned from her translated into the relationship coaching work I presently do. People go to their grave trying to satisfy the condition their inner judge set for them that they’ll finally be happy one day.
Harvest taught me that one day is now.
What does your relationship with your pet say about where you are with your own inner judges?
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