In my parent's living room, there used to be a set of Matryoshka or nesting dolls. As a child, I remember unpacking them, one by one, and putting them together, separately: from the largest to the tiniest (my absolute favorite one), all dressed in the same way - as...

You cannot selectively numb out emotions. When you numb out pain, you also numb out joy. The process of readying for love and intimacy demands that you feel every single emotion. Without judgment, allow it to pass through. Our culture does not make room for the full...

When a friend recently complained about their sister in law’s unreliability, she engaged in an offensive weapons approach to get the relationship back on track: criticism and contempt. Criticism: “She said she would call me back but didn’t” (complaint about her...

The relationship I have with my husband is unusual. When we first started dating there was very little about it that felt familiar in the sense that it did not resemble anything either of us has experienced before. From the onset, we chose to co create an expectation...

There once was a snail making its way up a cherry tree in the middle of winter. From a branch above, a bird saw it slowly moving up the grey cold bark and said, "You know, there are no cherries up on those branches."  Without missing a beat, the snail responded,...

After sharing their relationship struggles, a new client asked why they hadn't found the perfect partner.  My answer was simple: "You are not yet the person your ideal partner could locate right now." You only receive who you are. Your dreams, your thoughts,...

When K. told me she struggled with an attraction to men, who, like her, were fiercely independent, intelligent, adventurous, interesting, and funny, but repelled by marriage and children, and only interested in sex, I shared this was a common issue.  In my...

“I’m currently struggling with the following: the men I find myself most attracted to are, like me, fiercely independent, intelligent, adventurous, interesting, passionate, and funny. Unlike me, the only interest they seem to have in a partner (me) is sexual. These...

Being in a relationship – be it collegial, romantic, or familial – means that you’ll experience moments where words need to be expressed and you choose to remain quiet.   An impasse. Time goes by and the situation, the things left unsaid live inside you,...

How do you make sense of the stories told about your father when he’s gone?  As one of our most influential models for relationships, our parents set us on the lifelong path for the ways we engage with others– be it romantic or otherwise – a path...