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When Desire and Expectation Fall Short

Are you paying attention?

I only ask because if you are – it’s very possible that you may learn something.

When expectations don’t match your desires … suffering occurs.  

It’s that simple.

Do you have a moment to deconstruct that simple statement and make sense of it?

When expectations don’t match your desires …

You create your desire list.  You post it up where you can see it.  You do rounds of Affirmational Mantras…. You believe that if you go through all these machinations, your desires will become manifest.

And, on occasion, they do.

What, then, when they don’t?

It’s time to do the Inner Work of checking out your true beliefs.

Recently, my business coach challenged me to state my desires, figure out how much they might cost so that I may have a clear idea of the money I would have to bring in for them to actually happen.  I went through the exercises – no problem, piece of cake.  Stating desires can be child’s play.  (Unless the thought of stating what you want sends you into a “deer in the headlights” panic – which for many women, it does… The kind where you feel something is drastically wrong because you cannot think of a SINGLE thing.)

I was feeling pretty good about myself – gave me a Gold Star. Until she asked the following questions…

What’s going to stop you?

and, more to the point…

Percentage-wise, where do you feel your current expectations are in relation to your desires?

For my wishes to be manifested, apparently, both the level of desire and the level of expectations had to be even Stephen.  Meaning, if my desire was set too high, and the expectation of it actually ocurring, set too low, nothing in my life would change – none of my wishes would actually come to fruition.  They had to be an equal, vibrational match.

While doing the exercise I had felt that discrepancy within me, but plodded on through with same determination I use with most things – ignoring the tightness in my chest, the ickiness in my belly, the “yeah right”s chorused by the IBSC (Itty Bitty Shitty Committee).

I totally ignored my Inner Guidance.  Totally dissed my North Star.  Did everything I tell my clients NOT to do.  Shit, now, I’ll probably get kicked out of The Coaching Club….

Yep.  I might have to go to rehab on this one…  At least have to attend Coaching Recovery…

It lead me to this question…  Who do I have these desires for?  Myself or someone else?  How can I get these two to be in true, authentic, honest to goodness alignment with one another?  There was no way of acting or affirming my way out of this one.

I’d have to go Inside to uncover my ULP (Upper Limit Problem.)

Anger, disappointment and even frustration can actually be the best teachers – with awareness, these emotions can be explored and understood.  What causes us to feel a certain way?  Can emotions be redirected and transformed?  Can a shift in perception,  approach and attitude unhook us from the drama and send us blasting off in a positive direction?

When we are connected to ourselves, we can connect to everything else. When we are disconnected from ourselves, we’re lost.  Connecting with your self or someone else for that matter takes only a moment.

I did and re-framed my Expectations into Intentions.  In that one shift, I unhooked from the drama and was able to observe the vicious cycle of suffering I lay claim to when my desires and expectations are wonky.

It’s the Inner Work that creates profound change.

I highly recommend it.  If you are feeling comfy cozy these days, even with your discomfort, it’s time to shake your own Tree.  Do what it takes to make change from the Inside Out.

If you are ready for this journey, join me in this Change Revolution.

You won’t regret the outcome.

MINDSHIFT CHALLENGE:  What desires seem out of reach and how are you aligning yourself with the expectation of them becoming realized?  Share with us below.  We all benefit from watching you blossom and grow!

 

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