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The s”Hame” of Money

Reclamation

 

I was recently introduced to Dr. Brené Brown .  Her work on shame, empathy and vulnerability resonate with me on so many levels as I have been pulling back the curtain on these subjects for myself. These are hot, taboo topics in which I am learning to grow my hands.  So, for today, I’ll refer to Shame as “Hame” – perhaps it will be more palatable to you as we talk about it in reference to our relationship with money….

Brené defines shame as the intensely painful feeling or belief that we are flawed, and somehow inadequate and unworthy of connection.  I can SO relate to this definition.  There is space around it for me to breathe when I think of Hame that way.

There are three things about Hame that we share:

  1. We all have it.
  2. We are all terrified to talk about it.
  3. The less we talk about it, the more we have it.

Which is why I am writing this touchy post on the Hame of money…. It is my intention to talk about it for the sake of having less of it in our lives.  Ok, in my life… Let me be honest, here.  Perhaps you’ll benefit from the journey.

I grew up with three messages around money: 1st, it’s a dirty subject; 2nd, there isn’t enough; and 3rd, it brings us pleasure and freedom.  Clearly, the last two are in conflict…

In my 20’s and into my late 30’s I married into money – after college, it was my, seemingly, next logical step.  During the marriage, I gave all the financial power to my (now) ex and kept myself happily clueless.  It was, after all, what was modeled for me.  Once divorced and on my own, I became empowered and financially literate, and within a year of leaving my ex, was able to save what I needed to buy my very own “Big Girl” home.

Two years later, I fell madly in love with a man, sold my Big Girl home, bought a home with him, blended our families and settled into partnership bliss.  I had believed that I had found my Prince Charming, and that by virtue of being a man he had a”gene” for finances that I lacked.  Relaxing into that “truth”, I became the kind of perfect partner every man desires to have.  I had, unbecknowst to me, bought into the story, yet again, that a man was more capable than I in matters of finance.

I knew his relationship with money was disastrous.  I knew he struggled with a lack mentality and zero sum model thinking. Yet, I expected he would show himself to be the Prince I had seen him to be.  In wanting, I ignored the untruth of this thought and let my own finances go to shit.

Seven years later, I lost myself, I lost him, the home we had built, our blended family, my job and any dreams I had pegged on him for rescuing me from trusting in myself.  My finances were a mess, I was seriously in debt, unable to pay bills, let alone buy groceries… so I did what any sister would: I wallowed deeply into the Swamp of Shame.  How could I stoop so low?

I’m telling you this because transparency is my road to recovery.  One teaches what one most needs to learn, even when the thought of coming clean is terrifying.  This is why I have been called to teach about Overcoming Underearning.  I want to help you:

  • Change your relationship with money.
  • Explore your blocks and barriers that keep you from reclaiming your Connection with You.
  • Inspire you to think clearer and bigger.
  • Keep you on your path.
  • Encourage you to share what you learn, and, most importantly,
  • Wrap your Hame in love.

This is the ONLY way to break the cycle of Hame around money.  You know, it has nothing, really to do with the money itself, and everything to do with your sense of self-worth.  I would have never put on my partner the burden of being my Prince Charming.  I would have never, in my right mind, asked him to die on that horse.  Yet I did.

The only way out of the Hame is through.  Let me hold your hand.  I’ve been there and this is Sacred work – That being said, what is revealed within the sanctity of this seminar’s walls remains there.

Join me.  Together we can move mountains.  Let’s move the Hame out, so you can let your Abundance in.

xoxo Joëlle

For more information and to register click here: http://crystalsourcecoaching.com/overcoming-underearning®/

Here’s a clip of Brené’s work: Brené Brown on Vulnerability

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