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Holding another in Deep Soulful Love

Sisterhood

Sisterhood

“This sanctuary we know as Sisterhood, embodies the mysterious, Sacred Feminine.  Its love rests in a protected part of our hearts, on an unspoken, knowing dimension flowing through compassion and Joy.  It is spread through support in times of hardship and loneliness.  It gives comfort when hearts are broken.  It is the place where roads intersect and visions merge, where power and gentleness are entwined – forever changing us – and bringing us together in a shared experience as Woman.” Joëlle Lydon

I received a challenging call this week.  

One that invited the part of me that I felt was not fully developed as Woman to show up in Sisterhood. I had been in my car, on the way to a workshop, readying myself to create space in which to hold women’s stories about relationship, when the phone rang.

Little did I know I would have the opportunity to do so before ever arriving at my destination.  Nor did I realize how much this call would waylay, thrown off, and force me to dig deeper into myself than I ever had in order to hold a Sister in Soulful Love.

This call was unexpected and called upon me to use all of my tools to keep the gate of my heart open, and all of my triggered responses in check.

It was the kind of conversation whose effects were not felt until it was over.

At different moments, I had the urge to hang up (but I stayed on), to defend myself against false accusations (but I let the truth speak for itself), to apologize (but I have no regrets for what I do or who I am.)  And, the entire time, I kept my heart gate open in order to hold myself and my caller in what I now refer to as Deep Soulful Love.

It was one of the toughest things I have ever done.

As a coach, I use tools to create and hold Sacred, Confidential and Safe space for my clients.  I am so practiced at doing this, it comes naturally.  When working with others I can remove myself and my agenda, and let Divine Order in.

This skill was more challenging to use, however, when feeling personally attacked.  Even so, in its midst, I found a way to sit myself in the Seat of Trust: knowing everything was unfolding exactly as it should.

How could I be in this situation and remain tuned in, tapped in and turned on to Love for my attacker while staying true to myself?

Not that long ago, this would not have been possible for me.  I would have hung up the phone, cursed my caller, fallen apart and told a story of victimhood to anyone who would lend me an ear.  I realized, early on in the call, that, on some level, I had actually called it in.  The truth was, I had been curious about my caller, and I had had a desire to feel peace with her, somehow.

It’s a funny thing, Desire.  Not always tidy.  Not always perfect.  Showing up in the most unexpected and, often, inopportune times.

On some level, I had been readying myself for such an interaction.  Staying grounded and true was, above all, what I desired for myself.  This ability is a practice, a discipline – one I share with my clients as they seek a higher level of confidence and trust for themselves in their own lives.  It is the capacity to turn on one’s Love Light – expanding one’s bandwidth for being in discomfort while feeling nothing but compassion and non-judgement.  It’s a place where one can notice one’s triggers and choose not to react to them in the moment, but to choose lovingkindness instead.

It does not mean becoming a doormat.  This sentiment is expressed first to yourself, then to the other – so that each word you utter, each action you take comes from Self Love and, as such, has clarity of intent.

When one can deliberately create that space within, that space of compassion where one can see the other through the eyes of love, life takes on a very different meaning.  Life is more deliberate.

In the end, I expressed my gratitude for her having reached out.  (Catching her off guard.)

Because of her insistence, her accusations, and the discomfort of the call, she inadvertently had given me many gifts: She allowed me to see how I have grown stronger, how my Inner Little Girl no longer had the power to control the outcome of conversations, how I have evolved in my healing to have the capacity to stay true to myself instead of shape-shifting to please another, and, she gave me the opportunity to practice the skill of holding her in Deep Soulful Love while holding myself in Light, when my old iteration would have just written her off.

Most of all, she showed me I can love her and myself despite the outward appearance of being at opposing and seemingly adversarial ends of the camp.

Had she not called, I might not have seen any of this.

By the end of our conversation, she told me I had been “kind.”

I thank you for your call.  I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to own my evolution, my perfect unfolding, my Deep Soulful Love and for being given the chance to do the same for you.

Listen, my Love, as I have sounded this out for your pleasure.  Click below:

In love, service, appreciation and pleasure,

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2 Responses to “Holding another in Deep Soulful Love”

  1. SG Lovely Rita says:

    Favorite line “expanding one’s bandwidth for being in discomfort while feeling nothing but compassion and non-judgement.” Wow.

  2. Katie says:

    my favorite post yet ….. Gorgeous!

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