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Not feeling heard in your relationship?

“I’m struggling with communication and him not seeing my perspective. I don’t feel heard in my household”

I don’t feel seen, heard, or understood,and am not supported in the choice I made to leave my life sucking teaching career to open a yoga & wellness studio. I was much more tolerable to him when I was earning 6 figures and didn’t have a voice. I rocked the boat big time by following my heart.”

You might relate to these struggles shared with me this past week….

It isn’t that these women aren’t communicating in their relationships… The problem is that they may not be communicating the things that matter in their relationship in ways that can be heard or received.

If you ever feel like it’s challenging to communicate with your significant other, that no matter what you say, he or she just doesn’t UNDERSTAND, read on. 

We’ve all been there, right?  Sensing the moment your partner disconnects from you.  Confused by what just happened.  Questioning where they went, though they are standing before you… Then, possibly taking this scenario and using as a weapon upon which to commit worthiness hari-kari.

The truth is, you aren’t communicating in the way your partner can receive or understand.

Don’t get me wrong here.  Most of us were never taught that there is an altogether different way of approaching conversation with a man.  The trick here is to talk so men will listen, and to listen so men will talk.

 Women talk to connect while men talk to solve a problem.

Gorgeous, the number one mistake we make when communicating with our partner is thinking they process information like our girlfriends – that they are interested in all of the superfluous details, the feelings attached, the accessories you adorn your stories with, which your women friends absolutely love and appreciate… THEY DON’T.

When men listen to you, the have two objectives in mind:

  1. Figure out the POINT of what you are relating, and
  2. SOLVE the problem.

When you share with them as you would another woman, it’s confusing to them!

All they need to know is where THEY come in and what THEY need to do to help you out. I’m not saying you shouldn’t express yourself – but if you are just needing to vent, tell him ahead of time that what would make you happy is if they just listened.

If you are needing him to help you solve a problem, get clarity on what you are asking of them and do so using fewer words.  Make it very easy for them to know what you need and how they can make you feel understood, provided for and loved.

Remember, men have a different communication style.  Constantly venting or sharing things he can’t do anything about will only frustrate HIM since he can’t use his natural tendency, which is to help – and therefore fails by not making you happy .

This, Gorgeous is the key to intimacy – understanding how he listens so that you may communicate with clarity allows you to stay “in the game” instead of disengaging, walking away, or burning down his village with your rage…

Make sense? Now, let’s hear from you. What has been your biggest struggle with communicating with your significant other? Comment below!

 

 

 

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