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I had it all wrong…

Screen Shot 2013-12-02 at 6.18.06 PMWhen I was single, I used to believe that I needed to make a list of the qualities I was looking for in a man in order to make them manifest in my life.  Being a huge believer and proponent in the law of attraction, I thought this was the way to go.   I thought that if I had clarity on what it was the man or relationship “looked” like, I would attract just that.

I did.

Men who “looked” like the things that were on my list did, in fact, show.  The trouble was that they were only that: a perfect picture of what I was intending.  A picture with no substance.  Men who fit the bill of “is well traveled,”  “has done his personal growth work” and “has a stable job” came into play.

The problem was, I was just looking at the picture.  I had the whole procedure of “relationship” upside down.  I set my sights on the man.  I got him.  Sometimes.  He made me happy.  Sometimes.  I set a goal.  Put it on my list.  Reached it. Felt great, until, that is I felt the emptiness of where the relationship was headed was not going to fill the hole in my Soul.

I came up with my list, my desires, my strategic plan – all of the stuff I was looking to get and experience dependent upon one other outside of me.   All of my desires were driven by a longing to feel a certain way.

What if I had set my sights on something else?  CLICK BELOW to find out what felt more meaningful:

Now it’s your turn:  What feeling do you wish to have when you are in the relationship of your desires?  What is holding you back from getting there?  Share with us.  We all benefit from your experience and wisdom!

In love, service and pleasure,



8 Responses to “I had it all wrong…”

  1. Alexis says:

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Can I say “expansively tethered”? I want to feel a sense of spacious openness, like I can expand endlessly, and at the same time be connected through an invisible thread to a space in which I love and feel seen, valued, and cherished.

    • David says:

      Love the thoughts Joelle and Alexis I simply adore your metaphors. I think one of the keys is to know oneself and be at peace with your authentic self. in my life I have journeyed far and wide to discover myself, my elusive self which keeps growing and evolving. Underneath it all is my core self, finally at peace with it I consider myself to be ready to receive and give love; but like you Alexis I need to be “expansively tethered” so that I may be able to continue growing but with the knowledge that I have a partner in which to share…

      • Joëlle says:


        And that partner you seek is awaiting you – ready to embrace the totality of who you are and are becoming. Much love your way, xoxo Joëlle

    • Joëlle says:

      Thank you so much for sharing! I love the concept of EXPANSIVELY tethered – a beautiful image I am certain many can relate to. Now that you know the feeling you are seeking, what will it take to get it? xoox Joëlle

  2. jeanmarie reinke says:

    Hi Joelle
    This was very nice. I enjoyed listening to what you have to say . The comments are helpful in my own situation. I met you briefly one night with Susan Fowler and Roxanne, I hope to see you again and hear more of your thoughts in person.

  3. Stacy says:

    Hii, Joelle

    I enjoyed your comments . Having trust, respect and that unconditional, enduring love regardless of what is happening in our lives is a beautiful thing! Thanks for taking us beyond our “list of attributes” for the Universe.

    • Joëlle says:

      My absolute pleasure. It is in the spaces beyond what we believe is possible that we find what we are seeking… xoxo Joëlle

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