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How to become the source of your time

I was crawling out of my skin and I knew it.  All I wanted to do was run away, be quiet, drown myself in silence, surrender to the discomfort so I could hear my heart.

For two weeks I had made excuses: I have no time to take time off.  I have responsibilities.  Who is going to take care of the dog?  The cat?  The lawn is out of control.  My son will be back from his father’s on Monday…

I was feeling “compacted.”  I had pushed myself so much that I had reached my limit.  My heart had boarded the “no” train, and was screaming for me to get on as it slowly made it’s way out of the station.

I had to make time.

So I said goodbye to my last client, moved things around my calendar for a 48-hour oasis, pulled out my credit card and made the call…… then, I threw some toiletries in my bag along with some comfortable clothes and headed off to Kripalu in Lenox, Mass.

So often, we have it backwads.  We believe that what’s “out there” causes the feelings “in here.”  We believe there’s not enough time.  It’s a prized commodity doled out in crumb size bits.  It puts us in a constant sense of urgency, of desperation, of scarcity.

Here’s the truth:  You are where time comes from.  Yep, simple as that.

Gay Hendricks, in his amazing book The Big Leap, says that when we are feeling hard-pressed for time, we blame the lack of it as the source for our discontent.  Except, time is really not the problem.

The problem is space.

An hour with your beloved feels like a minute, while a minute sitting on a hot stove feels like an hour.” A. Einstein

True right?  Being with your beloved creates a time flow – where awareness reigns supreme: the sensation of their skin, the curvature of the cheekbone, the way their hair curls…  Each detail, a perfect masterpiece in which you want to lose yourself…

Prior to making the decision to go to Kripalu, I had sat my ass on a hot stove for over a month:  I had kept myself busy with activity and with preocupation over not trying to occupy the space I was in.  I had to get through my end of the year teaching responsibilities and was unwilling to accept that I was turning up the temperature on myself.

How do we get to the other side?

As Einstein explains, when you are embracing your beloved, where awareness flows, you are willing to occupy ALL space.  Time flies.

The key word here is awareness.  The vast majority of us tend to want to jump on the “do” wagon where there is little time or space for awareness to be had.    When you are aware, you give yourself time to BE here.

So, when you are in the throws of that feeling of urgency, and your awareness has become alerted to this fact- take time to be loving to yourself, as you would with you own beloved.  Allow yourself to accept what is instead of fighting it – and take action: create space for this to happen.

No matter what.

It took wearing an “In Loving Silence” name tag (alerting others not to speak to me), a Savasana concert with Wah!, a hot tub, a 6:30 am yoga class, kayaking on Lake Mahkeenac and a class with Dan Leven to finally shake my soul loose from the hot compacted stove.  Sometimes, as in my case, we allow ourselves stay on it too long, under the guise of “busyness.”  (I am still working on reducing my ability to tolerate highly uncomfortable situations for inordinate amounts of time….  part of my trip.)

All I know is that once the space opened up for me, I spent the remainder of the afternoon under a tree nursing my emotional hangover.  It was what my tired soul needed.  It was only then that I was able to meet and embrace my beloved: Myself.

Become the source of time.  If you are where time comes from, and you are aware of the energy of compactness inside you, make space for it to be released, flow out of you as a source, STAT! Fill yourself with presence when enough space has been made and embrace yourself in it.

When you do, your perspective on life shifts.  Possibilities become apparent, options open up, inspiration happens, courage grows…. and so do you.

Now it’s your turn. I’d love to hear your strategies for becoming the source of your own time.

In the comments below, tell me your single BEST strategy for those “oh snap, I’m on the stove again” moments in your life. If you have more than one, that’s great.

Is there something specific you do? Do you take a specific action? Leave as much detail as possible.  Your brilliant ideas will inspire our entire community.

Plus, research suggests that when you anticipate challenges and devise strategies to overcome them in advance, you’re more likely to stay on track and reach your goals.

Thank you for contributing to this growing community, and for being a part of my life.

 

6 Responses to “How to become the source of your time”

  1. This is beautiful and perfect for exactly what I’m going through in my current life right now. Tweaking and revamping up my blog and I feel like I don’t have enough time, but when I spend time with my family it seems like it went by too fast!

    Awareness is important and this has taught me to stay in the moment and embrace all that is instead of what I hope things to be.

  2. Katie says:

    The challenge for me is to stay quiet and not increase stress with caffeine and loud music or going Delta wave by watching ‘Law and Order’ (btw have you seen Elizabeth Olivet on that show? remind you of anyone?) If I take a nature walk, meditate or do restorative (or any kind of) yoga (given that I’m not pushing myself harder my current energy level.) Taking time for a more elaborate meal with loved ones is relaxing as well.

  3. edmee says:

    My clients often come to me with the question how to become a better leader? there are 3 things I tell them: go back to being yourself, learn to manage time and you can only achieve your goals when are aware of what is stopping and motivating you.

    Thanks your blog encompassed all the same things
    Edmee

  4. The latest brain studies suggest that probably the most beneficial technique to modify our beliefs is usually to generate a mental story of accomplishment. We require to image ourselves as we would like to be, and we require to talk about it. Here’s the fundamental formula: See it, say it, hear it.

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