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Musings

My “Ideal Man” List had some issues….

Posted by on Nov 14th, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 4 comments

My “Ideal Man” List had some issues….

I never dreamed I would be in the kind of relationship I have today.  In fact, 13 years ago, after my divorce, I sat down to make a list of what I was looking for in a man.  Here’s what I found in my journal dated May 30th, 2001: Intelligence Master’s degree Focused Height (my ex is 5’3 – I am 5’6) Able to listen Humor Passion Good looks Likes to touch Has expensive taste Is generous with his gifts Employed and ambitious (wearing a suit was important to me) Well traveled Healthy Open minded An alternative...

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Saying “I do” for the second time

Posted by on Nov 6th, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 1 comment

Saying “I do” for the second time

“Between the stimulus and response, there is a space and in that space lie your power and freedom.” Victor Frankl On my last post, I wrote on the topic of trust.  More specifically, I shared the radical notion that the less you trust, the more signs you tend to miss, the greater the chances for choosing a partner that may not be right for you. I also shared that your thought, “I don’t trust men”  could really fueled by the belief, “I don’t trust myself.”  I got no arguments on this idea....

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The Reason you keep dating Rotten Eggs

Posted by on Oct 18th, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 5 comments

The Reason you keep dating Rotten Eggs

“This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, uh, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And, uh, the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.”  Woody Allen   In the past few weeks a friend and a client both said “I do” to marriage.  Both women found a way to trust in the institution despite their prior experiences.  Both knew their man was the one for them. You might be thinking to yourself,...

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The Secret behind Surrender

Posted by on Oct 2nd, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 3 comments

The Secret behind Surrender

“What happens to a dream deferred?” Langston Hughes I’m an incredible dancer.  I know.  I’m bragging.  And, it’s true.  When it comes to partner dances, I have a way of picking up on how a man wants to lead me, especially when he is confident in his skill-set.  I can stay relaxed, alert and anticipating.  This means, if he has clarity of purpose, I can completely surrender to him. It’s easy to let go when your dance partner is self-assured. Not so easy if he is not. What I have done when...

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Holding another in Deep Soulful Love

Posted by on Sep 22nd, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 2 comments

Holding another in Deep Soulful Love

“This sanctuary we know as Sisterhood, embodies the mysterious, Sacred Feminine.  Its love rests in a protected part of our hearts, on an unspoken, knowing dimension flowing through compassion and Joy.  It is spread through support in times of hardship and loneliness.  It gives comfort when hearts are broken.  It is the place where roads intersect and visions merge, where power and gentleness are entwined – forever changing us – and bringing us together in a shared experience as Woman.” Joëlle Lydon I...

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The Challenge of Deep, Soulful Love

Posted by on Sep 5th, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 0 comments

The Challenge of Deep, Soulful Love

  My guy and I agreed on a relationship hiatus a while back.   I have to admit that I wondered whether what we had co-created had enough chomp to withstand the challenge of doing this for an undefined amount of time. The initial decision to deliberately be apart made sense given the circumstances, given how prone we were to letting the world fall away when we were together, given our propensity to let things slide so good we felt with one another. We made the agreement over dinner believing we would be seeing one another in a...

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The Poetics of Desire

Posted by on Aug 23rd, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 8 comments

The Poetics of Desire

  About 3 months ago, I fell into a deep silence.   I had been feeling overstuffed, cluttered, disjointed.  Beneath it a longing.  A desire, unknown. And I stopped in my tracks. I stopped writing, stopped working my business, stopped spending time with others, stopped pretending.  It wasn’t a depression (I am very familiar with it having had my share of bouts.)  It was more of a malaise, a feeling of agitation – the kind that wouldn’t pass no matter how much I exercised or how much I tried to release the charge....

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The Audacity of Desire

Posted by on May 29th, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 0 comments

The Audacity of Desire

“You get what you are given.” This was a statement made to me repeatedly in my formative years. As a post-depression child, my mother grew up with the kind of uncertainty, scarcity and lack befitting the times, her mindset firmly ensconced in “never enough.”  This belief, ingrained in me, was such a real truth, that the idea having more was inconceivable.  I accepted this credo as “fact” and, warped as it was, it bled deep into adulthood, informing everything I did – including my choice...

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I got snarky with my guy….

Posted by on May 4th, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 0 comments

I got snarky with my guy….

“The mind’s a two bit whore.” Martha Beck (Kripalu, 2013) Last week I got snarky with my guy.  I mean really pissed off. I had noticed it building inside of me, from small spark to a fire that had the capacity to burn down entire villages in its wake. It made no sense. Our relationship is wonderful.  He is attentive, loving, generous, sexy, encouraging. What was fanning these flames? Recently our schedules had become busier, our visits with one another less frequent, our contact, sporadic.  I was feeling disconnected,...

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When surrendering is the last thing you do

Posted by on Apr 21st, 2014 in Discover Your Strengths | 6 comments

When surrendering is the last thing you do

I spent this past week-end at Kripalu Yoga Center in Lenox Massachusetts.  I recommend this spot for anyone looking to unplug from the craziness of the world and plug into quiet, open space.  Because it was Easter week-end (my son was with his father and my guy with his family),  I felt called to go there. I was looking for a place to land, post surgery, where the energy could support my recovery.  I also knew  my sweet Sister, Dr. Lissa Rankin, author of Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself, was leading a...

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