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10 Things to Purge From Your Life (Part 1)

It has been two years since I broke up my blended family, sold our house, moved into an apartment and reclaimed my life.  Grief took up residence the greater part of that time.  She has recently left, igniting courage enough for me to buy a home I can claim as my own.

I have been sifting and sorting through the last two years’ accumulation: deciding upon which things to bring along with me, which to leave behind.  Many are material possessions.  Others, not – grief bore fruits of awareness that I would never otherwise have experienced – so I bless and release….

Today, I share with you the “life lessons” and baggage it’s been best to purge before moving forward.  (There are two parts to this posting accounting for the shitload of learning that has taken place.)

1. People who drain your energy.  The older you get, the less tolerance you may find you have for these people.   If you are unsure who they might be, ask yourself this quick question (while in their presence or right after you leave): “Do I feel energized from being with this person?”  If the answer comes back a resounding “no,” you may wish to reconsider limiting your time with them.  Instead, seek to surround yourself with like-minded ones who inspire, support and uplift you.

2. A work environment or career that is no longer a good fit. You were born for greatness.  Are you living that out?  If you are unsure what that might look like, hire a Life/Career Coach (moi) to help you gain some clarity around this issue.   You may feel you are not in a position to leave yet, however.  That’s okay.  Once you get a whiff of your passion, begin to build it on the side.  You’ll be amazed at the high you get from being aligned with your Right Livelihood – and although you may be “working” your ass off, it will feel like pure, unadulterated bliss.

3. Your Inner Gremlin.  Ok.  Now this one is better said than done – since the majority of us tend to live in our heads and, to a large degree are either completely unaware of the amount of chatter we have going on or have just grown accustomed to it’s voice…..   Start listening.  Is what it’s saying in your best self-interest?  If not, question this reality and begin to replace these thoughts with others better suited to move you in a positive, uplifted direction.

4. “I’m A Good Girl, I am… ” (Your Best Liza Doolittle Impression).  So often we hold back from saying what we mean for fear of hurting someone else’s feelings, or, worse, for fear of not being liked.  I’m here to tell you, you are absolutely perfect right here, right now.  Time to give up the charade.  This is an energy stealing move. Say what you mean.  Mean what you say.  Speak clearly.  Ask questions when you are unsure.   Live your communication life by Don Miguel Ruiz’ Four Agreements: Be Impeccable with Your Word, Don’t Take Anything Personally, Don’t Make Assumptions and, my FAVE, Always Do Your Best. You’ll save yourself a whole lot of time and energy.

5. Living in Chaos.  Last August, I came back from my annual USANA Convention to find my office in a complete state of chaos.  It was one thing to be living in it, day in and day out – the disorganization had become part of the landscape.  Being away for a week gave me a new perspective.  Unless I was willing to put myself first, including my living space, neither I, nor my businesses would grow. So, clear the clutter.  Get rid of stuff you don’t use.  Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.

6. Little Sleep.  You know it’s time to purge this one if the people in your life have taken to calling you Grumpy.  A tired mind and body will affect your mood, sex drive, memory and even your weight.  Start your night-night routine earlier.  An hour before bed time: turn off the tv/computer/electronic crack, take off your contact lenses, have a nice cup of herbal tea, brush your teeth, get thee horizontal and read.  Adapt to this new regimen and you’ll be amazed at how yummy you’ll feel the next morning.

7. Running Late.  You get it?  Running?  Late? A sure-fire way to induce stress and zap your precious energy.  Instead, try getting up up 30 minutes earlier so you incorporate leisure and intention into your morning.  If you are going to bed and sleep earlier,  this will be a fairly easy adjustment to make.  Use that time to exercise, journal, meditate, dance….  Notice and enjoy the ripple effect of strolling into your day.


8. Hanging out with LemmingsBeen there.  Done that.  I’ve come to realize that the only reason others want you to fit in is that once you do, you are no longer a threat to their version of “reality” so they are free to ignore you and go about their life none worse for the wear.  Don’t do it.  The cost is too great. Trying to shape-shift into someone else’s version of you so that you can ensure their comfort is a complete waste of time and delicious life-force.  Even if you are unsure of how, Be You – and start to hang out with others who chose not to do the “safety (LIFE) dance.”


9. Feeling Uncomfortable in Your Skin.  Last night I was coaching a client who remarked that she had come to realize this past week that EVERYTHING in her life hinged upon her health:  her career, her finances, her relationships…. Your health is your life.  Don’t let it go – make your health a priority, Stat!    If this is tough to do on your own, hire a coach to partner with you.  In the meantime, you might find The 4-Hour Body a great read on the topic.


10. Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!  The more you hang on to the idea that your life/situation/mood/weight/relationship is set in stone, the more miserable you are guaranteed to be.  Life is change – just think about our seasons, weather, times of day.  Every day is different.  Every day is a new beginning and a new ending.  Embrace the unpredictability – like a snake you have opportunities moment to moment to shed what no longer works. “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent,  but the one most responsive to change.” ~ Charles Darwin


There’s more to come – What? You’d think I was done purging? No way! Share the things you are wanting to or have already purged that have made your life a more pleasure place to live! Don’t be shy now, SHARE!

10 Responses to “10 Things to Purge From Your Life (Part 1)”

  1. Lauren G says:

    Good Lord knows I have purged some people from my life and made heap loads of changes. I left a horrible work environment last year. I do have some inner work that I am still doing. My life direction has just come to me. Well, it continues to come over time. I think each step that I take is all a part of the journey. Nothing is left out to chance.

    These days I am feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I am taking care of myself better mentally and physically. Its no accident that my spiritual life automatically rose or was it the other way around?

    Its not as much about purging anymore as it is about being aware of the flow. Going along with the flow of my life rather than bucking against it. When things happen that I do not like or understand, just going with it used to seem like the “copout” thing to do, but I have found it to be the path of great joy.

    • Joëlle says:

      I know you have Sister Goddess! Thank you so much for you vulnerability, authenticity and love. xoxo Joëlle

  2. Kathi says:

    Love this, Joelle. Your light shines!

  3. Andrea says:

    Awesome Joelle, I love this. I’d like to link your blog to the Orenda website. Email me, let’s reconnect. Om Shanti

  4. Rachel says:

    Love it Joelle, you’re a terrific writer. Thank you very much.

  5. Maggie says:

    I love witnessing your beautiful growth as well as your words that express the treasure of your journey. Thank you for sharing YOU and thank you for sharing the Darwin quote-one I will keep as one of my favorites!

    • Joëlle says:

      It is within the safety of an inspiring, uplifting and loving community that this journey can take place – thank you for being part of mine.

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